Mass on Sunday (Tweaked)

Mass is great, isn't it? And they have mass on television now, did you know that? I bet you didn't. It's still a bit stilted though, a little bit obvious; predictable. And too long, much too long. How are the children of the internet mean't to save their souls with such a long format. No, it has to be tweaked. Much like air-safety demonstrations, people tune-out because they've heard it all before. It needs a little bit of randomness thrown in. Not too much though, we don't want to turn it into a mockery, which might upset the good lord, our father, the god almighty. All masses MUST be edited so they come in under 2.5 minutes too. And jump cuts. The kids love the jump cuts.

John Waters: "Pick Your Spot. Don't Change Your Mind."

Even when John Waters is lying in his death bed, perhaps emaciated from cancer that twists through the organs of his body... even after having given his last breath, and the final electrical charge fires between the synapses of his brain... even when the reality of the of existence dawns upon his yellowing body, he will insist to believe that angels, holy tree stumps, and hell for homosexuals still exist, because he is a man who prides himself on unfaltering stubborn beliefs.

Well I say, good for him. This is a colourful world made up of all kinds of different people. We need people who are steadfast in their viewpoints, no matter what evidence or personal epiphany brings forth. I often find it impossible to decide my own view on anything. My opinion will sit adrift on the sea of troubling possibilities, and refuse to either sink or wash ashore of some god forsaken place. I sometimes wish to be arrogant enough to convince myself that what I think or say is the absolute truth.  So I admire him for this strength he has found.

Because he was so good to grace us with his favourite quote, I will honour him with a quote from another literary man. A quote from William Blake's "A Memorable Fancy":

“The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.” 

Greetings Lifeform. We are the Humans

Image via [reelfoto] with more images.

This is one of the pictures included on the "Golden Records" sent with the Voyager space probes, that are currently hurtling out past our solar system [wiki]. Arguably, the image does indeed show some of the mechanical actions humans use to consume nutrients, but what are the aliens going to think when the spin up the record and this is the image they decode from it. What kind of savages will they expect to find here on planet earth. Human war and famine will seem mundane to the antics displayed here!

These Golden Records have been called a lot of pejorative things over the years: an example of American space propaganda, a Carl Sagan vanity project, a complete cosmological waste of time and money... but the Voyager space program has surfaced in popular culture over the years, such as V'Ger in Star Trek, for instance [memory-alpha].

Like most space programs, seemingly without a tangible benefit to everyday life on earth, they bring a spark of imagination and interest in what lies out beyond our own horizons. They let us rejoice in the mysteries of the universe without need for stomping through the fetid waters of man-made religion to do so.

Earth is destined to be destroyed by our sun one day. Mankind may well have died out long before then, and all that man has created, will be destroyed by the eventual expansion of the sun. It's quite probable that at some point in the far future, the only shred of evidence for human existence will be a gold disc, on board a human made craft, adrift in the expanses of space. And encoded on that disc, will be a series of sounds and images, one of which, is the image above. Amen.

The Great Zion Dance-Off

Now that Israel is lobbing bombs at itself once again, it's time to bring up the topic of Zionism, and what better way to settle this debate than by having two Christian clerics do battle through dance.



In the left corner, we have Ireland's pride, (ex) priest, Neal Horan [wiki]. Noted for destroying Olympic Marathons, and Formula One races, he also manages to bring an impressive level of subliminal-transexuality to his dance routines. Having written many books on the topic of how "the children of Israel will be the salvation of mankind", he is representing the pro-Zionism side.



In the other corner, representing anti-Zionism, with have Jew turned Orthodox brother, Nathanael Kapner [brothernathanaelfoundation.org]. Once described by a correspondent as "The Orthodox Max Keiser", Brother Nathanael likes to produce charismatic Youtube videos telling us how the Jews are in control of everything, and that only Vladamir Putin can save us from the tyranny of Zion.

Since we are deciding the great Zion debate by dance alone, we had better dissect each dancers moves. Horan gives us a feeble attempt at some Irish dancing. Dressed in a dirty orange tennis skirt, he hopes to win pervert points by giving us glimpses of his green underpants... nil point from all judges. His routine and technique are equally atrocious.  He looks like a man trying to inflate a tyre while standing on a greasy merry-go-round. Brother Nathanael on the other hand pulls out all kinds of freestyle moves, which are described by Irish youths in the video, as the "Matrix shit". The brother also looks an impressive sight with his black robes, Christian props, and clip-on flashing lights. He looks like he's on his way to an apocalyptic rave party.

There is no doubt about it, on dance alone, anti-Zionism wins the day. Zion fans shouldn't fret though, the next contest will involve proficiency of surgical air-strikes, and Israel is already in fine form. One of the most impressive strikes I've ever seen [youtube].

The Innocence of Youtube

Google has been giving mixed signals over the controvercial video, "Cultural Learnings of Islam for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of America" or "Innocence of Muslims" as it is correctly known [techcrunch.com]. It doesn't want to remove the video, but has censored it from certain countries. I'm really not sure why there was any debate on the matter, the video clearly broke Youtube's guidelines [youtube.com]:

We encourage free speech and defend everyone's right to express unpopular points of view. But we do not permit hate speech (speech which attacks or demeans a group based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status and sexual orientation/gender identity).

If a woman (and only a woman mind you, but misogyny is for another day) shows her nipples on Youtube, the video is banned straight away. Somehow this video, which is designed to insult Muslims and has been implicated with multiple deaths around the world, was worthy of being defended under the "Freedom of Speech" mantra. But here's the thing. The guidelines mentioned above are just that, and not the T&C you sign when creating a Youtube account. In fact, the only thing about offence in the terms and conditions is a waiver saying that you aknowledge that YOU might be offended by content on Youtube [youtube.com]. So really, Google can do what it wants with it's service, and that's fine, but it's that familiar carte blanche and colloquial attitude to Free Speech once again, that boils the blood.

Kurgan of Glory

World War 2 memorial - Minsk, Belarus. [wiki]  First image via [plus.google]

Ancient Aliens: Debunked (2012)

I watched 3 hours of this film, which debunked many of the common theories held about aliens coming to earth and interacting with ancient civilisations, only for me to feel like a sucker during the last 10 minutes. For it was these last 10 minutes that the insidious agenda was spelled out by the film maker. You see, the reason we know for sure aliens never visited Earth, is because it's not outlined in the Bible, and because angels really do exist!

So we might like to laugh and scoff at the idea that there's intelligent life on other planets, but hell no, don't think that Noah's Ark isn't real, no sir, that there is fact! Ironically, in the end, the film maker made such an effort to highlight that angels are not spiritual but in fact, flesh and blood, that he began to sound like a man who believes in extra-terrestrial visitation, and just doesn't realise it.

There are some interesting pieces of information in this film, as well as dissections of crazy alien theories that are so nonsensical that they really didn't need the effort put towards them, but because of that, "don't swallow their shit; swallow ours", thing at the end, it makes this film a complete and utter failure.

Something I've always wondered about these Ancient Alien believers: is there a form of Eurocentric White-Man chauvinism at play here? The notion that "Those savages are so primitive, how could they possible do what we can do. Aliens!" I don't know why it's so hard to believe that a group humans, no matter where they're located, are able to come up with solutions to problems facing them. It's not as if they had something else to do with their time, like wasting three hours watching crypto-religious film making.

My Favorite Pussy Riot Performance

I'm not sure what stealing a chicken and shoving it up your vagina has to do with a political protest, but I give them kudos for not worrying about developing a dose of Campylobacteriosis of the crack. As a wise old Russian babushka once said though: "Don't be Putin that up there."

I'm also not sure if PETA would agree with it as a performance piece. Paul McCarney has given his support to the group now as well, stating that he supports all forms of artistic expression. Perhaps eating hamburgers is art now. I wonder what Linda would have to say about it all. Mung basted chicken, who knows, it could be a delicacy.

Let's enjoy the entire reel of Pussy Riot fun-times. Oh look at all those performances where the authorities just turned a blind eye to them. Isn't it odd how they sang the same anti-Putin songs in various locations around Moscow, including outside the Kremlin, and nothing was done about it. Gosh, is it really possible that they did something more illegal than just "singing a song"? If this were really about freedom of expression, wouldn't they have been arrested and tried after the very first, or second, or third... performance?  Hate Crime and Blasphemy laws might be stupid, but other countries have them too, and unfortunately for the Pussy Riot people, desecrating a church's sanctuary is a red line offence in Russia.

Broadly speaking though, I don't mind people giving Russia a hard time over the criminal sentence. While most of the protesting voices I've heard have been largely ignorant about the details of the case itself, I must agree with the outcry over the sentence given. It reflects how much the church has encroached on Russian law. Letting this case look like it's some sort of personal vendetta against Pussy Riot is also atrocious. You'd have thought in all the years of the ham-fisted PR dealings of the Soviet Union, Russia's ruling class would have realised how powerful "soft-power" is and that a little bit of spin and subterfuge goes a long way: "Let the thieves keep the rope that they have stolen, for eventually they will hang themselves with it".

Lenin used to cause quite a "riot" whenever he took his "pussy" out for a walk. I think that joke has been done elsewhere. Well that's Communism for you.

No. Soft-power is just not Russia's way. They still go at things hammer and tongs, fire and brimstone. They haven't a clue; not a single clue. Maybe Putin thought his little: "They shouldn't be judged too harshly" soundbite would cut it. It didn't. Putin has to be more like Barry Obama and demand that everyone gives him an "Amen" at the end of his speeches. He needs a few lessons in social programming. Maybe that's where the Church comes in...

If one good thing does come out of all this, it's to prove once and for all that Russia Today is indeed an impartial broadcaster, and not just a spokeshole for the Russian government, as Western shills like to propagate. The entire case was covered, from the pre-case build-up, to the arrests outside after the verdict given. There was no spin put on it, and dissenting voices were aired. Some of the most disturbing information about the dealings of the case also came from RT. Journalists from other Russian media however (names not mentioned but let's just say they are on the radio) have been rather scathing of the group. Calling them all sorts of vulgar derogatory names and saying that they got off lightly with 2 years of imprisonment. It's interesting to hear the mix of opinions from Russians about the case, which has completely divided the nation, although in polls taken recently, the group enjoys only a small percentage of active support.

Back in the 1930's, Stalin had the original cathedral demolished, and planned the erection of a glorious Palace of the Soviets. Due to the war, that plan was never completed however and the foundations were eventually turned into a massive swimming pool. Then they decided to rebuild a cathedral there again in the 1990s. Gluttons for punishment. 

Finally lets look at the complex chronology of the situation: The West supports a group, that oppose a group, that the West once supported, when the Soviets opposed that group. It's a classic case of the old switcheroo once again. Back in the 1980s American tele-evangelist, Pat Robertson, loved to spout about how "God will destroy Russia!". Given the way the Churches infecting-fingers are making their way into Russian governance, in a queer and quite ironic way, he might eventually be right.

Tunisia: Post Arab Spring

It seems like a distant memory now, but the Tunisian "Arab Spring" of 2010-2011, brought great changes to the country, although perhaps not what the protesters had all hoped for. The origins of the Tunisian Arab Spring lay fundamentally as an economic revolution, but these days you will probably see it described as some sort of liberation process from a ruthless tyrant. This is nonsense of course. Secular Tunisia was one of the most liberal of Arab states, something only the religious zealots would have complained about. What of it though, the people made their stand.

So how are things now. Well, the people of Tunis, where Tunisia's Arab Spring begun, are complaining that nothing has changed [google.com/afp]. They thought if they toppled the government jobs and affluence would suddenly spring forth, like the jinni from Aladdin's lamp. It hasn't, and now they've gone on strike and protest, once again demanding that "change" occurs. What they have gotten for their troubles however, is a glimpse of a new path to Sharia Law.

A new constitution is being drawn up and after countless delays it's hoped that it will be in place before March 2013. Not all are happy though [euronews.com]. The new constitution brings a greater integration with Islam and a new approach to the perception of female citizens. Tunisian women are already protesting the proposed wording of the status of women. Article 6 of the existing Tunisian constitution (est. 1957) states that: "All citizens have the same rights and obligations. All are equal before the law." [richmond.edu]. The proposed new constitution states that "women are 'complementary' to men". By itself, this may seem innocuous, but by dividing citizens into sexes, it clears the way for law makers to come up with all kinds of inequality rulings.

What does the future bring for Tunisia- It's reported that "extremists" are calling for a female athlete, who won a silver medal in this years Olympics, to be stripped of her citizsenship because she wasn't wearing a sheet while competing [sportsillustrated.cnn.com]. While this will probably fall on deaf ears, I see this kind of protest gathering momentum in the future.  Look at Libya after the "Arab Spring" thawed the secularism from their constitution, and reintroduced Sharia Law. Women are "free" now. Free to vote... in their hijabs [telegraph.co.uk]. It's funny though, women didn't have to wear veils in the Libya under Gadaffi's rule. Women were also allowed drive (still punishable in Saudi Arabia), women were allowed education (numbers of women availing of higher education equalled that of Libyan men), the right to choose who they married (and were allowed to divorce at their own free will) [observer.ug]. Ah but, Gaddafi was a mad man, don't forget.

Roll on Sharia Syria...

Tom Kelly and His Lovely Stolen Pink Tractor

Dirty feckers...

A professional trollster. 

[via boards.ie]

Katie Holmes: Derp

What The Bible Has To Say About Syria

I hear people saying Syria is a keystone to the whole of the Middle-East. If the West can crack it, it can crack Iran. In a continuation of my 2012 themed posts, I look to the prophacies contained within the Bible. A search for Syria returns the following:

725 BC - "Prophecy of Demascus" - Isaiah 17 - Standard English Version[#]
1 An oracle concerning Damascus. Behold, Damascus will cease to be a city and will become a heap of ruins. 

2 The cities of Aroer are deserted; they will be for flocks, which will lie down, and none will make them afraid. 

3 The fortress will disappear from Ephraim, and the kingdom from Damascus; and the remnant of Syria will be like the glory of the children of Israel, declares the LORD of hosts.

A heap of ruins, eh? Children of Israel, eh? The Bible, eh?